In some ways you're right. Judgment is love ... when it's God's judgment done God's way. But "judgment" must be delivered with a contrite, broken heart. As Christians our "judgment" must be given with genuine love. When it is, the (Christian) receiver will sense that and will respond accordingly. Yes. Sometimes, they will get "upset", will accuse us of being unloving, but sooner or later they will realize we are dealing out of concern. And, while we can "mealy mouth" that we love all our Christian brothers and sisters, true AGAPE comes when we really KNOW someone (warts and all) and still care about their welfare. "Judgment" needs to come FROM SOMEONE WHO TRULY KNOWS AND LOVES THE PERSON INVOLVED IN SIN OR ERROR.
CASE IN POINT: I had a dear friend who, because of the examples of her parents, knew of no other way to deal with marital conflict than to drive her husband from the house whenever the verbal battle grew too heated. This went on for some time and I was concerned about her and her marriage. At the right moment God laid on my heart a great brokenness for this lady and I began to weep. OH! How I didn't want to "get involved!" OH! How I didn't want to "confront" my friend! But I knew God was telling me I had to. So, with tears streaming down my face, I called her and said, "Carrie, I have to talk to you about something that is breaking my heart and making me fear for your happiness. YOU MUST NOT THROW JAMES OUT OF THE HOUSE ANYMORE! If you do, someday he will leave and not come back." I went on to explain to her from the Scriptures how neither spouse had the "right" to demand the other one leave, even when that one is an unbeliever. ("If he be pleased to dwell with her ...") She was very quiet for several moments and then she acknowledged that what I had said had touched her heart. For the next couple years things changed in her home but, after awhile, that warning faded from her memory and, once again she reverted to childhood patterns and "kicked James out" during an argument. That time, he didn't return ... ever. Instead, he found another woman, divorced my friend and wed his "new love". My friend was eight months' pregnant with their sixth child at the time. After he left, she cut off all connection to me and all other Christians she had known. While the ending is sad, the fact that I did what God told me to do eases my mind and heart. I loved my friend with everything in me and I was obedient to issue the warning (judgment) God told me to give her. If I hadn't I would not have been able to live with the knowledge that I had refused to issue the warning and the marriage had ended badly.
__________________
"I had been eagerly planning to write to you about the salvation we all share. But now I find that I must write about something else, urging you to defend the faith that God has entrusted once for all time to His holy people." Jude 3 Joyce
